The Bizarro Hall of Fame: Introducing the Class of 2001

In the coming weeks, One More Dying Quail will be profiling the 182 current members of the Bizarro Hall of Fame, an organization that currently exists only in my mind. It was created in the wake of Major League Baseball’s infamous Steroid Era as a way of honoring those players whose careers were perfectly mediocre: the only requirement is that a candidate be listed on the official Baseball Hall of Fame ballot and receive zero votes.
Class of 2001
Howard Johnson – Even after a fourteen-year major league career, there are two things for which I will always remember Howard Johnson: one, he had one of the greatest names in baseball history (to this day, whenever my mother hears his name, she replies, “His parents must have hated him.”) and two, he was only the second player to have more than two seasons with 30 homeruns and 30 stolen bases. He did it three times, all in odd numbered seasons between 1987 and 1991, making two All-Star game appearances and finishing in the top ten in the Most Valuable Player voting three times. His career numbers were probably worthy of at least a couple Hall of Fame votes, but his steep decline following the 1991 season didn’t help his chances.

Andy Van Slyke – Van Slyke was “known for being loquacious and a good quote,” two qualities that helped him make three National League All-Star teams and twice finish fourth in the MVP voting but couldn’t garner him a Hall of Fame vote in 2001. An excellent defensive outfielder, he won five consecutive Gold Gloves playing alongside Barry Bonds in Pittsburgh from 1988-92. Van Slyke made waves in 2004 when he said of Bonds and steroids, “Unequivocally he’s taken them, without equivocation he’s taken them. I can say that with utmost certainty.” (Note: It mostly deals with the pain and misery that comes from being a Pittsburgh Pirates fan, but there is an exceptional blog out there called Where Have You Gone, Andy Van Slyke?. Even if you don’t follow the Pirates, it’s worth heading over there to poke around a bit.)

Coming soon: The Bizarro Hall of Fame Class of 2000.
(All Hall of Fame voting results were obtained from the official web site of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Statistical information included in postings for the Bizarro Hall of Fame was, unless otherwise noted, originally compiled by Baseball-Reference.com.)