The Bizarro Hall of Fame: Introducing the Class of 1983

As part of an ongoing project, One More Dying Quail will be profiling the 182 current members of the Bizarro Hall of Fame, an organization that currently exists only in my mind. It was created in the wake of Major League Baseball’s infamous Steroid Era as a way of honoring those players whose careers were perfectly mediocre: the only requirement is that a candidate be listed on the official Baseball Hall of Fame ballot and receive zero votes.
Class of 1983
Mike Cuellar – Can someone explain why Cuellar wasn’t given a fighting chance to succeed at the major league level until he was almost thirty? Like Edgar Martinez, who lost years off his career languishing in the Mariners farm system in the early 1990s, the failure to spot Cuellar’s potential earlier might well have cost him a shot at the Hall of Fame. As it is, four twenty win seasons, four All-Star appearances and a Cy Young award should have put him in the running anyway.

Larry Dierker – On my eighteenth birthday, I bought a pack of cigarettes (just because I could) and a scratch ticket. Larry Dierker got a much better present: the Houston Colt .45s tabbed him to make his major league debut. He didn’t pitch well (two runs on five hits in 2.2 innings – at least he caught Willie Mays looking in the first), but at least he had a better day than Larry Yellen, the first man out of the bullpen: it was the fourteenth and final game of Yellen’s major league career. In the late 1990s, the Astros surprised a lot of people when they hired Dierker out of the broadcast booth to manage the team; he returned the favor by leading Houston to four NL Central division titles in five years.

Pat Dobson – One of four Baltimore Orioles to win twenty games in 1971, Dobson only posted a winning record three times in an eleven-year career that saw him play for six different teams. He passed away in November, 2006.

Al Downing – Yeah, Al Downing was a solid major league pitcher, a twenty-game winner and 1967 All-Star. But more importantly, he is the answer to an important trivia question: who gave up Hank Aaron’s record 715th homerun?

Joe Hoerner – Along with Willie Montanez and Cookie Rojas, Hoerner was one of three Bizarros involved in the famous Curt Flood trade in 1969. He made the All-Star team for Philadelphia the following year. His career numbers don’t look exceptional, but he DID have four seasons with thirteen or more saves and three with a sub-2.00 ERA.

Randy Hundley – Say hello to the man who brought us Todd Hundley. The two could very well become the first father-son in the Bizarro Hall when Hot Todd becomes eligible in ’09.

Carlos May – On first thought, I was very, very surprised that nobody voted for Carlos May for the Hall of Fame. Then I realized I was confusing Carlos, who had a couple of good seasons but nothing special, with his brother Lee (he of the 354 career homeruns and only three Hall of Fame votes). My bad. Carlos, however, WAS a first round draft pick.

Ken McMullen – Six teams, sixteen teams, never finished higher than 26th in MVP voting, was once part of a trade that involved Frank Robinson – guys like this are the reason the Bizarro Hall was created.

Bill Melton – Melton hit 33 homeruns in back-to-back seasons for the White Sox in 1970 and 1971, leading the league in the latter year. He bounced back from a 1972 injury with seasons of 20 and 21 homers, but his production steadily declined until the end of his career in 1977.

Gary Nolan – Nolan battled injuries for much of his career, but still had flashes of brilliance that included an 18-7 record in 1970 and two World Series rings with the Big Red Machine of the mid-1970s.

Doug Rader – Thanks to my baseball card collection, I’ll always remember Rader as the manager of the California Angels in the late 1980s. Imagine my surprise, then, when I found out that he had been a pretty good third baseman for the Astros a decade earlier, enjoying three seasons of 20+ homeruns and winning five consecutive Gold Gloves at the hot corner. He later played for the original Blue Jays in 1977. Ironically, the second most similar player to Rader on Baseball-Reference.com is Ken McMullen.

Cookie Rojas – Nothing stands out about Rojas’ major league career at first glance – except for his FIVE All-Star appearances, four of them consecutively as a member of the Kansas City Royals. How did this happen? The Royals weren’t bad during those years – on the contrary, they were actually pretty good. So…can anyone explain this? Were there no other second basemen in the American League? Was he a greater defensive player than his numbers indicate?

Diego Segui – David’s dad didn’t do much on the field, but his career is still full of fun little factoids. He played for the Athletics in the team’s last season in Kansas City and first season in Oakland. He played for the Seattle Pilots during their only year of existence. He was a member of the original Seattle Mariners, appearing in forty games, which might make him the only man to play for both Seattle franchises. Fun stuff.

Bill Singer – Teams couldn’t have enjoyed facing the California Angels in 1973: one day you get Nolan Ryan and his record 383 strikeouts, the next you’re up against Singer and his 241 Ks. Both pitchers won 20 games that year, but Singer headed downhill after and was done as a player by 1977 (when he played for the first-year Blue Jays).

Jim Wynn – That Wynn isn’t in the Hall of Fame isn’t surprising. There isn’t a lot of room in Cooperstown for .250 hitters with 1,400 career strikeouts. But the fact that not one writer voted for him is an absolute travesty. Overlooked, somehow, were his solid offensive numbers, which were compiled in a dreadful hitters park (the Astrodome) during a dreadful era for hitters (the late 1960s). Despite these obstacles, The Toy Cannon had three seasons with 30+ homers, four with 100+ runs scored, and two with 100+ RBI. He also stole 225 bases and walked over 1,200 times in his career (including a career-high 148 in 1969). The lack of consideration is inexcusable.

(Coming soon: the Bizarro Hall of Fame Class of 1982)

(All Hall of Fame voting results were obtained from the official web site of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Statistical information included in postings for the Bizarro Hall of Fame was, unless otherwise noted, originally compiled by Baseball-Reference.com.)