The Bizarro Hall of Fame: Introducing the Class of 1982

As part of an ongoing project, One More Dying Quail will be profiling the 182 current members of the Bizarro Hall of Fame, an organization that currently exists only in my mind. It was created in the wake of Major League Baseball’s infamous Steroid Era as a way of honoring those players whose careers were perfectly mediocre: the only requirement is that a candidate be listed on the official Baseball Hall of Fame ballot and receive zero votes.

Class of 1982

Gates Brown – His given name was William James Brown, but for some unknown reason his mother called him Gates. In his first major league at-bat, he pinch-hit for pitcher Don Mossi and homered off Red Sox pitcher Bob Heffner. He went on to compile a .257 career average in that role, with 106 hits and 16 homeruns in thirteen seasons.

Tommy Harper – An original member of the Seattle Pilots in 1969, Harper moved with the team to Milwaukee the following year and enjoyed his best season, hitting .296 with 31 homeruns, 82 RBI and 38 stolen bases. After two seasons he was dealt to Boston for 1967 Cy Young award winner Jim Lonborg and a pair of famous baseball brothers (Ken Brett and Billy Conigliaro). Harper’s 54 stolen bases in 1973 remain the Red Sox team record.

Deron Johnson – Johnson finished fourth in the 1965 National League Most Valuable Player voting after hitting 32 homeruns and driving in 130 runs for Cincinnati, but his best season overall (according to OPS+) may have been 1971 – 34 homeruns and 95 RBI for the Philadelphia Phillies.

Alex Johnson – Carl Yastrzemski won three batting titles in his major league career. It could easily have been four. In 1970, Johnson edged out the Red Sox Hall of Famer by percentage points, .3289 to .3286. The narrow loss rankled Yastrzemski, who wrote years later in his biography that Johnson had “conned” him by promising to play a full game in the season finale if the title was on the line. Yaz went the distance in his final game, while Johnson finished 2-for-3 before leaving for a pinch-runner.

Cleon Jones – The most famous part of Cleon Jones is his shoes. In Game Five of the 1969 World Series, Dave McNally threw a pitch down and in the dirt. The Mets argued that the pitch had actually struck Jones on the foot, a fight that was settled when the umpire looked and found shoe polish on the ball. New York went on to win the game and the World Series.

Jim Northrup – One of the heir apparents to Hall of Famer Al Kaline in the Detroit Tigers outfield in the late 1960s, Northrup could (and did) play all three outfield positions in his 10+ years with the team. He brought some pop to the Tigers lineup, hitting 20+ homeruns from 1968-70 and 16 in two other seasons.

Sonny Siebert – A two-time All-Star with the Cleveland Indians and Boston Red Sox, Siebert won 15 or 16 games four times in twelve seasons. Primarily a starter, he was also capable of closing games out, as evidenced by his 1969 campaign with the Red Sox in which he went 14-10 with five saves.

Tony Taylor – I find it somewhat bothersome that I had never heard of Tony Taylor before tonight; a guy with 2,007 career hits deserves better. He might have had more, but his playing time took a major hit in 1971 and his last six seasons were spent in supporting roles. Primarily a second baseman but also valuable at a variety of other positions, Taylor was the oldest player in the National League in 1976, his final season.

Cesar Tovar – Always a player who was valuable at a number of defensive positions, Tovar made himself into a historical footnote on September 22, 1968 by playing all nine positions in a game against Oakland. The opposing shortstop was Bert Campaneris, who became the first to accomplish the feat three years earlier. Unlike Campaneris, however, Tovar played the positions in their numerical order, starting the game as the pitcher and finishing as the right fielder.

(Coming soon: the Bizarro Hall of Fame Class of 1981)

(All Hall of Fame voting results were obtained from the official web site of the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Statistical information included in postings for the Bizarro Hall of Fame was, unless otherwise noted, originally compiled by Baseball-Reference.com.)